We have Zone conference tomorrow!!! I'm so excited. I'm going to
go buy a new study journal today just to make sure I have enough pages to take
notes. (I only have about 3 pages left of my study journal) I would cry if I
ever lost my study journal, more than I would if I were to lose my daily
journal. It's kind of like my study journal has doctrine and revelation, and my
daily journal is the account of what we do each day, more of the monotonous
stuff. So study journal = small plates. Daily journal = large plates. And it's
the small plates that contain the things of more spiritual matter and the large
plates are more of a secular history. So the difference is really history verse
testimony. And to me testimony is more valuable. And now I'm just rambling... But,
point is that President Porter is so inspired and I heard from other
missionaries that this conference is the best one he's ever given so we're just
psyched out of our minds. Unfortunately Elder Garcia's hand is still in a cast
and so he won't be able to write anything. So he is dying. He says he wants to
record president with his camera haha. Anyways, we don't worship President Porter
but we sure do love him.
But as far as last week goes we worked pretty hard but I think
we need to get a little more creative. We need to try new things to help our
investigators get over the hurdles they have that are keeping them from coming
to church. C… has to practice a men's dance for a "quincenera"
(birthday party as big as a wedding for girls turning 15. HUGE in Hispanic
culture as you already know) for the next 6 weeks and practices are only on
Sundays during church, grrrrr. And C…, N…., L…, and R…. need to stop drinking
and getting wasted on weekends. And the G…'s need to change their work
schedule, as do J… and V…. I realized last week that we needed to involve the
members more. When you involve the members things just go better. Members don't
realize it but they make all the difference. We taught J… last night with
Brother S… (Both are such amazing people). J… is super humble and just has the
best spirit ever. He asked for work off Sunday and so we'll pray that his boss
gives it to him so that he can come to church within the next couple weeks! And
Brother S… is a bit of a goof but he has a big heart for people to. He only
speaks broken Spanish but when he shares his testimony the spirit comes so
strong. He has to pause as he searches for words but that actually just allows
the spirit to sink in even more. It goes to show that, so long as we are
trying, God's grace applies. As we just put forth our best effort, God makes up
the rest. He couldn't speak perfectly (nor can I for that matter) but the
spirit comes anyways and testifies with great power. After the lesson all three
of us just kind of sat in the car in silence for a moment. Brother S… labeled
it "basking in the spirit." I’m going to really miss the frequency of
such spirit filled experiences after my mission. I've heard that being released
from missionary service is the worst day of your life in a bittersweet way. So
I won't think about that too much and I'll just soak it up as much as I can
now.
We also taught the restoration to a group of working Hispanics
that all live in the same apartment. We refer to them as the "N…
gang" because that is the name of one of the guys that lives there. And
that's easier to say than to list half a dozen names when we are planning at
night and studying for them in the morning. They are good people that are
looking for a better way of life and just need some help changing. They didn't
come to church yesterday but they have come a few times. But it was cool to
finally have a chance to sit down and teach a solid lesson to all of them last Friday
evening. We were all in a circle and we had their sober attention when we
taught about Joseph Smith's first vision. It's moments like these that I love
being a missionary. Leading up to it, we had taught in good unity and the spirit
had testified so beautifully of the reality of God's answer to Joseph's humble
prayer. As I spoke the words of Joseph's First Vision (I get to say it because
ironically my companion doesn't have it memorized in Spanish yet) the spirit
just filled the room. I love it when it does that. It does it every time. I
know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live and love us. And He does answer our
every sincere prayer. Especially in time of need, He will answer us immediately
and help us as we ask for it.
We did our best to lift some spirits that hung low last week. A
member named Brother R… fell off a balcony 17 years ago and broke his back.
He's been on heavy pain and depression medication ever since. He was at a low
point last week and needed some company, so he took us out to Buca di Peppo and
we just kind of spent some time with him. He is an incredible guy that'd give
the shirt off of his back for anyone.
This caused me to really dig into the
scriptures and study about the Atonement over the past few days. By doing so I
really have grown in my love and gratitude for our Lord Jesus Christ. I can't
express how rewarding my studies have been over the past few days as I've
focused it on studying the questions "What is the Atonement? And, what
does it mean to me?" I can’t explain exactly how it's deepened how I've
felt because words just don't do a good enough job, and personal revelation is
something that won't mean nearly as much as it does to anyone except to the
individual whom experiences it. I just want you all to know that I do know that
Jesus Christ is the very greatest manifestation of God's love for us. (John
3:16-17 and 1 Nephi 11:16-23) He is our Brother and Greatest Friend (John 15:).
He is our Living Redeemer and Savior of the world. I love Him for the blessings
and happiness and healing and strength that He made possible for all of us
through His atoning sacrifice. I will follow him because I do love Him. This
was something that my recent studies have helped me to emphasize. Before I
thought I was obedient to increase my Faith, which is still true, but now I
feel that obedience is a means of achieving a higher purpose. Many people see
us and ask, "Who are you?" Essentially they ask, "Why are you
here? Why do you serve a mission?" So, Why do I serve a mission? Why do I
try to live such high gospel standards? Why do I wake up early and work
tirelessly day in and day out? Why do I step out of my comfort zone and talk to
so many people? Why did I learn another language? Why am I here? I'll tell you.
Because I. LOVE. GOD. I love Him because He first loved us. He sent His only
Son. He created a perfect plan of happiness for all of His children. And He
revealed that plan and the fullness of the gospel to us in the latter days
through a modern day prophet of God. What does The Atonement of Jesus Christ
mean to me? It means Everything, absolutely everything. I will follow Him
because I love him. Obedience itself is not the end purpose, rather it is love.
I now see keeping God's commandments not only as an opportunity to be happy and
get blessings, but now I see it as the best opportunity I have to say
"Thank You, I love you".
And I love you all too! You are the best! Have a great week, as
you get ready for another new school year! Gross, luckily I get to wait a
little longer before I have to do that again :)
Elder Kevin Graf
P.S.
We made a Spanish cake called Tres Leches Cake and Holy smokes its delicious!!!
Just thought you should know. I'll have to make some for yall sometime :)
